A few weeks ago, the restlessness that had been brewing under the surface of my being for a long time, came to the surface.
I had been feeling unsettled, uncertain of what it was that I wanted…..I had been trying to fill the gaps with all the things I thought were missing – more money, more things, more holidays. I actually felt a huge urge to SHOP, to just walk through a shopping centre and buy stuff that caught my eye. Which is weird for me, as I’m not really a shopper. I thought to myself, what is it that I’m looking for? What is it that I’m needing?
And the truth is, I don’t need more. I need less.
I am tired of being caught in the “work to pay the bills and only actually LIVE if time/money allows it” cycle. I’m tired of parenting alone much of the time, because my husband has to work to maintain our current lifestyle and spending habits, even if we have been trying not to be caught up in “stuff”.
I’m even tired of my business, the work that I adore with my entire being. Because whilst I love the families I work with, and I love creating memories for them….it’s HARD WORK to be “hustling” all the time. Selling myself, justifying myself, marketing myself all in order to BE more and ACHIEVE more….ALL the time. Worrying about not posting on social media for a week and losing engagement, or beating myself up for not blogging frequently enough, constantly going through the mental checklist of what I need to do behind the scenes (that I wish I could delegate to someone, but it’s all me). It’s exhausting.
I feel disconnected. Disconnected from my husband who has been away from us over 50% of the time for the last 5 and a half years. Disconnected from my children, who are sent off to school and daycare, and then when they’re home, I’m often too busy. “In a minute” “When I’m finished this” “I just need some space” “I’m too tired” and “Ask Daddy” (when he’s home) are all too common catch cries. And I don’t want it to be like that. I also feel disconnected from my friends, because I am already spread so thin that I feel like I don’t deserve the time out to go and have a coffee and a chat.
I am craving simplicity, adventure and freedom.
And so one day, I told my husband I was ready to sell the house, pay out our debts, buy a caravan and travel the country for a couple of years. Not living to a clock or a calendar or deadlines or paychecks. And…….he was ALL FOR IT. Absolutely 100% keen.
And so we started talking about how we could make it happen.
We’ve come up with a 3-5 year plan that involves travelling Australia AND buying land and building a home near the ocean like I’ve always dreamed…..and remaining debt/mortgage free.
This will mean that not only can we enjoy the present – for who knows how long we have left in this one life we have been given – but we are also setting ourselves up for retirement, we are ensuring our children’s future, and we are creating a lifestyle that focuses on simple joys. It will also allow us to enjoy not only our own country, but other countries too (Scotland is still on my bucket list, along with Ireland, New Zealand, Germany, Canada and the Scandinavian countries).
It’s incredibly exciting and we are ALL looking forward to what lies ahead.
People may think we are absolutely crazy, but what is “normal” anyway. We’ve tried “normal” and it doesn’t suit us!
Our recent trip to Palmers Island, NSW (near Yamba/Maclean) only reinforced our decision.
We all had such a fabulous time, and life seemed so much more harmonious.
Here’s a few photos 🙂
~ Haylee caught a fish!!!!
~ The kids came on a bushwalk with us and there was only minimal complaining, yay!
~ I did a 14km hike along the ocean
~ We attended the Maclean Highland Gathering
~ The kids all made lots of friends. Matthew has often struggled with friendships, but he was so much more confident in forming friendships and initiating play, it was SO nice to see.
~ Our campsite was right on the river and we had lovely neighbours
~ The kids played at the beach and collected lots of seashells